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One Often Overlooked Parenting Tool

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How many times as a parent do you blow it? Or if you’re like me, how many times an hour do you mess up? How many times do you rant, rage blow up at your kid or say or do the wrong thing? If you’re anything like me, it could be hourly. The thing they don’t tell you about parenting before it’s too late and you’re already into it is how hard it is.
In fact, parenting is probably one of the hardest things you’ll do. You have to try not to strangle your kids for throwing a fit. Then you have to try to not yell at them for talking loudly about the color and size of their poop while eating out with friends.
Read: 3 Proven Phrases To Avoid Mealtime Battles

Here’s the secret

 However, there is hope. The secret is, you don’t have to be perfect, you don’t have to always say the right thing and you don’t have to always do the right thing. For me, that’s good news.
You don’t have to be a perfect parent. Just own up to your mistakes and be real with your kids.
With kids, there’s always room for a reset. As a parent, you can always make adjustments and do things better the next time. That’s good news as a parent. You don’t always have to have to do the right thing…just own up to it when you mess up.
And that’s why I’m not afraid to say I’m sorry, and I do, like hundreds of times a day. I sit down with my toddler, look them in the eyes and tell them, mommy is sorry. I own up to the fact that I didn’t handle the situation the right way. I acknowledge that I got mad and yelled at them and what I did wasn’t nice. Then I say four powerful words: Can you forgive me?

Apologizing to Your Kids Might Sound Crazy, BUT…

The idea of apologizing to your kids might sound a bit crazy, but I feel like it’s powerful. I know I can’t always say or do the right thing and be a good example to my kids all the time. However, if I realize that I’ve said something unkind or handled a situation badly out of anger, I admit it.
I try to reset. My kids are always ready to forgive. I get sweet little hugs after my apology. And every once in awhile I hear the older child apologize to the younger. The other day he ran into her accidentally and I heard him say sorry. What an awesome skill to learn. We don’t have to be perfect to raise kids that are kind and loving. We can mess up, own up to it and teach our kids another powerful lesson, to apologize.
Mistakes can be made but if we own up to them we can receive forgiveness and move on, and try to do it better the next time. So if you haven’t, give an apology a try. You might be surprised how your kids respond.

The Benefits of Apology

Yesterday, my three-year-old apologized to me. I was shocked.

Mommy, I’m sorry I didn’t pick up my toys – Three-year-old

After hearing those words, I stood there dumbfounded. I’m sure my mouth was hanging open in shock. My preschooler has heard me apologize for doing the wrong thing so many times that he offered me an apology when he messed up.

I gave him the biggest hug and told him I loved him. In moments like these, I’m so thankful I’ve owned up to my mistakes in the past and apologized. I see the fruit daily in my kids, how they respond to each other and how we as a family treat others.

So if you haven’t, begin adding the apology to your parenting toolbelt. And let me know how your kids respond!

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The Biggest Mistake I’ve Made In Parenting My Children

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How often do we as parents put a lot of pressure on ourselves to have children that behave or look a certain way?

If our child chooses to throw a fit in the restaurant we feel it reflects on how good of a parent we are. Or if we show up to grandma’s house with spaghetti sauce from lunch smeared all over our kid’s faces we are showing our family that we don’t have it all together and that we’re not good parents.

I’ve fallen into this trap time and time again. I feel good about myself when my children look clean and cute. I take pride when my kids act well at the store or restaurant.  When they act up, throw a fit or say something embarrassing, I want to hide or act like I don’t know them.

Read: Two Simple Strategies to Avoid Toddler Tantrums

Why is it that we as moms tie so much of our self-worth to how our kids behave or look?

I realized the other day how crazy this was. I was allowing myself to feel good when my kids behaved and bad when they didn’t. The crazy thing about this is that none of my children’s behavior is really about me. (This is not to say I accept bad behavior)

I realized that just like me, my children have the ability to make choices. They can choose to act in ways that are good or they can choose to act in ways that are bad. My children don’t make bad choices to embarrass me or to reflect on my parenting. Rather, they make bad choices because they’re human and they’re learning.

I think about how many times a day I make bad choices. How many times a day do I disobey my father God?

God is a perfect parent and yet his kids make bad choices every day all over the world. So is it any wonder that I, an imperfect parent will have kids that do the same?

So as moms let’s take the pressure off ourselves to feel like our self-worth is tied to how our kids look and behave. That’s too much pressure. As moms, our self-worth should be tied only to what God says about us. If we base our self-worth on anything else we will constantly fall short.

Read: How I Began Developing a Love For Christ In My Children’s Hearts
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4 Things I Learned While Potty Training My Toddler

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I thought potty training would be easy. I saw all the books and training videos claiming potty training could be accomplished on a weekend. Maybe the people who write those books have a superstar toddler, but for me, potty training that fast didn’t play out.
The main reason potty training didn’t happen over a weekend is that I work from home. Every minute of my day is accounted for and scheduled so that my toddler is busy when I need to work. The idea that I had to somehow carve out two uninterrupted days to plan for potty training was impossible. So with that in mind, I ended up taking a much more relaxed approach to potty training. Here are a few things I learned about potty training along the way.

Potty Training Isn’t Easy

I don’t know why I thought it would be easy. I figured my kid probably didn’t like sitting in a dirty diaper so I thought they would be as excited as I was for them to potty train…WRONG. Come to find out my toddler could have cared less about potty training. Dirty pants don’t care was his motto! Potty training was a lot harder than I thought.

I Needed Lots of Extra Clothes.

I didn’t adhere to the idea of letting my kid be naked during the potty training time. First of all my toddler hates being naked and cold. Secondly, it just seems weird to me to let my kid play all day naked and let him pee on himself.

So I opted for doing lots and lots and lots of laundry during the many accidents that equaled potty training. I needed extra sheets, mattress pads, socks, underwear you name it. The extras helped on those days we’d go through 4-5 outfits. Ugh!

Potty Training Requires Patience

It’s so hard to be patient when teaching a toddler a skill that is easy for us. It’s hard to remember that we too once had to learn to go potty. I remember one time after losing my patience with my toddler for what felt like the 85th accident that day I asked him do you know why we’re learning to go potty in the toilet?

It makes mommy sad when I go potty in my pants – Three-year-old

He said because it makes mommy sad when I go potty in my pants. I realized my toddler didn’t really understand why I wanted him to potty train so badly. At that moment, I realized I had to be patient and not lose my cool while I was letting him learn.

Don’t Get Discouraged – They will get it.

When you’re potty training it feels like your child will never get it. It seemed all my friends and family that had kids the same age we already potty trained. My son wasn’t. So I felt bad that it was taking what felt like 90 years longer than everyone else I knew. I was certain I would be sending my child to kindergarten in diapers.

We as moms often compare our kids and their development with others. We see the kid that potty trained at 12 months and feel like a failure because our three-year-old is still wearing diapers. This is easy to do but never healthy. Instead of getting frustrated and comparing the achievements of other kids, we should take comfort in the fact that our child will get it.

If you’re deep in diapers, accidents, laundry and just the crazy that makes up mom life, take heart. Your toddler will learn to go potty. Your toddler will stop messing his pants 19 times a day. You don’t need to bribe him, yell at him or use any other crazy techniques to get them trained. Just stay patient, positive, and focused and after a couple of months, he will get it.
A few months after I started my toddler very seldom has an accident. He goes in the potty without me checking on him or bothering him about it. Hang in there, Mom. You will make it through and you too won’t have to send your child to school in diapers!
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7 Things Sleep Training Is and 3 Things It Is Not

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Sleep training causes a lot of controversy among moms. Some think doing it is great, and others feel that co-sleeping is the best way to go. I’ve heard great arguments for both why you should and why you shouldn’t sleep train. A good case can be made either way for sleep training. However, after doing my research, I decided to sleep train my kids the day I brought them home from the hospital.

For me, It was the best decision I could make. I’m not a person that functions well on a little bit of sleep. Also, I work from home. Because of this, I couldn’t have kids that needed to be held to sleep since I use their nap times to work. Finally, for me to be a happy mom, I need to be rested. For these reasons, I chose to not delay sleep training.

What Sleep Training Isn’t.

(Before I get tons of mean comments and hate mail)

  • Letting my baby cry for hours on end.
  • Letting my kids go hungry.
  • Ignoring Genuine Needs My Kids Had (clean diaper, food, teething)

What Sleep Training Was Like For Me

  • My kids slept in their own room starting the day they came home from the hospital
  • I tried the best I could to put them to bed awake (sometimes hard as a newborn)
  • I used white noise to set the stage for sleep
  • I relied on swaddles and sleep sacks to set the stage for good sleep (my one-year-old yawns and rubs her eyes when she sees her sleep sack)
  • I changed diapers when they were dirty
  • I fed when the child was hungry
  • My kids slept most naps at home not in arms or in a car seat, swing, or bouncer.
I set the stage for good sleep from birth for my kids. I didn’t neglect them or let them cry for hours on end. I just trained them that sleep happens in their room and in their bed.

Why did I do this?

The first and most important reason is that I think it’s not fair to kids to start things one way and then several months or a year later change the expectations on them. For example, if you train your newborn that sleep happens in moms arms but at 8 months you start putting them down to sleep in a bed you’re going to have a mad baby. I think that you should be consistent with whatever sleep method you choose from day one.

In my experience, I’ve found it helpful to create good sleep habits from birth. That way the kids go down easier when they get older and most days I have plenty of time to work. That’s why I fight for my kid’s sleep.

I do believe that however you sleep train is up to you and what works for your family. If you have one child or love to hold a baby, co-sleeping or holding baby to sleep may work great for you. I can certainly understand wanting to get in lots of baby snuggles. You’ve got to do what works great for you and what you’re comfortable with. And in my experience sleep training early worked great for my kids.

 **This post contains affiliate links. I receive a small commission at no cost to you when you make a purchase using my link.
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Why I Fight For My Children’s Sleep

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Getting a baby to sleep through the night seems to be a challenge most mothers face. We want our kids to sleep well so that we can get some much-needed rest. However, that sleep doesn’t happen naturally in most cases. A child or baby that sleeps well takes some work.
I worked hard to get my kids to be good sleepers. My kids have naps as often as possible and my kids sleep in their own beds. I fought for them to get to bed at good times. Here are a few of the reasons why I’ve fought so hard for my kid’s sleep.

Sleep helps my kids to be happier.

We all are nicer and happier when we’re well rested. A few weeks ago, I had several nights in a row where my husband was snoring really loud. It kept me from sleeping well. After several nights of being woken up multiple times, I was a mess. I was angry at my family and grumpy almost all of the time. My lack of sleep affected my happiness.

I think the same thing is true for our kids. If our kids are lacking sleep, they’re not going to be as happy. They’re going to be grumpy and hard to deal with. I want my kids to be happier, so I fight for their sleep.

Sleep helps them to be focused

When we get enough sleep, we’re better able to focus. If I’m really tired, I can’t remember or learn things. I’m just fighting with all my might to stay awake. I think kids are the same way. If they’re tired and not getting lots of sleep at night, they’re going to have a hard time focusing and learning new skills. When kids are young, they’re growing and learning at the most rapid pace of their lives. Sleep helps them be focused so they can learn new skills better.

Sleep helps me as mom to be happier

When my kids are happy and well rested it makes my job easier. My kids are much more willing to obey and be kind when they’re not exhausted. Also, their early bedtimes and great night sleep helps me get tasks around the house done. I’m a lot happier when my kids are well rested.

Sleep is important for babies and kids. However, as parents, we often don’t want to make the sacrifices to make it happen. We don’t want to go home from a fun gathering early so our kids can get in bed. We don’t want to stop running errands so that our kids can get naps at home. It takes work and sacrifice to have kids that sleep well. In my opinion, that sacrifice is worth it. I love having kids who have are easy to deal with and who can focus and learn well. These things help me as a mom be happier and less stressed.

Here are a few of the products I loved using to get my kids to sleep well when they were babies.

**This post contains affiliate links. I receive a small commission at no cost to you when you make a purchase using my link.

 

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3 Proven Phrases to Prevent Mealtime Battles

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Is mealtime often filled with fits, temper tantrums, and battles as you try to get your kids to come to the table?

If so, you’re not alone. In my house, getting my kids to the table to eat can be a chore. Our mealtime battle often plays out like this: My toddler tells me how hungry he is. A few minutes later when dinner is ready, he proceeds to throw a fit when I ask him to come to the table. By this time, he’s gotten engrossed in a toy so when I call him to eat he says, “I’m not hungry”.  As the parent, I know my kids need to eat. So how do you get your kids to the table without losing your cool?

Through a lot of trial and error, I’ve discovered three phrases that have helped curb mealtime battles.

 

“You need to come sit at the table, but you don’t have to eat.”

This phrase has been a game changer at my house. When it’s dinner time my kids are asked to come to the table. I tell them they do not have to eat. What they are asked to do is come and sit down. This has been powerful because my children realize they can’t play anymore. When the option to play is removed, they often end up eating something since they’re already at the table.

“Eat or go hungry”

I can’t tell you how many times my child has said during mealtimes, “I don’t like it, I don’t want it, I want something else.” I gently tell my child that what they’re saying is not kind. Mommy or daddy worked hard so they could have nice food to eat. If you don’t like it, you don’t have to eat it. However, they will not get another meal.

Our rule is that they can sit at the table with us and either eat or not eat. If they choose to not eat, they will not get another food option. When the rules are explained, my child will often eat some of the food that was prepared. When the choice is to go hungry or eat what’s on the table, my kids usually choose to eat what’s there.

“To sit at the table, you need to choose to be happy”

In our house, in order to sit at the table, you need to choose to be happy. I don’t enjoy a meal with a screaming child. If my child chooses to scream or throw a fit at the table, I get up and move them or their chair into another room. I tell the child they can come back when they’re happy. It’s amazing how simply removing the child will often curb the bad behavior. My kids want to be where the action is, so when I remove them, the incentive is high for them to want to come back to the table and be happy.

These phrases have helped me curb a lot of mealtime battles. What are some strategies you’ve found helpful during mealtime?
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How I Began Developing a Love for Christ In My Child’s Heart

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I was a youth leader for many years at my church. During my time as a youth leader, I was always amazed at the number of parents who would say things like, thank you for helping instill faith in my child. Or I’m so glad you’re here to show my child faith, or with all the bad influences in the world I’m glad that you can teach them about God.

I know these parents were well meaning, but I’d often find it sad that so many parents left spiritual training up to one hour a week at a church youth group.

I decided that when I became a parent I was going to at least expose God to my children at a young age and show them how great it is to be a child of God. Obviously, my children are their own people and when they’re older they will have to decide for themselves if they will live for God, but I want to expose them to God now and in everyday ways. I don’t want to leave learning about God to an hour a week at a children’s church class.

So here are a few ways I’ve taught my children about Jesus.

Prayer

We pray for each meal and before bed, we pray when we fall down and get hurt, we pray if it thunders and they’re scared. Also, we pray when we see an ambulance go by for those that might be hurt.
Praying in lots of different situations and times helps kids realize that they can talk to God in any place and any situation. It also shows them that there’s nothing too big or too little to go to God with.

Worship

We set aside times each day to worship God, and we always make sure to keep it fun and different. Some days we worship using instruments and dance around the house. Other days we watch YouTube worship videos and sing. It really doesn’t matter how you do it, but worshipping Jesus won’t be real to your kids unless you set time aside each day to do it.

Bible Reading

Each day we read a Bible story. I buy Bibles that are age and developmentally appropriate for my children and we read a story or devotion together. We get new Bibles and make sure that we bring scripture into our lives on a daily basis.
I’ve also started the last few weeks doing a memory verse. I was shocked to realize that within a few days my son had memorized John 3:16 with me simply reading it to him daily. He’s now memorized several verses, which I think is amazing for a three-year-old.
Mommy, what’s our Bible story today? – 3 Year Old

Talk About God

I talk about God a lot to my kids and they talk to me about Him too. We talk about how God created the leaves and sticks and dirt that are fun to play in, we discuss how blessed we are to have so many great toys. Simply put, we talk about God a lot.
My kids ask awesome questions about God too. They’ve asked me, Is God a boy or a girl? Will there be Mac and cheese in heaven? And I take those questions seriously. I want my kids to always be able to openly discuss their questions and concerns about faith without my judgment.

Church

We make going to church a priority. And my kids love it! They love their friends and community they have at church. They know that Sunday is the day they go to church. Several Sundays ago we were camping and didn’t go to church and my toddler asked, are we going to church today? I love that my kids know that Sundays are for church. I believe that instilling these values in them while they are young will help them make decisions to live for Christ when they’re older.
repeat them again and again to your children. Talk about them when you are at home and when you are on the road, when you are going to bed and when you are getting up. – Deut 6:7 (NLT)
These are just some simple ways I’ve found to teach my children about Jesus. None of these take up lots of time, are expensive or require a lot of effort.  But they are effective. My three year old told me the other day he loves Jesus.
Mommy, puppy and I love Jesus – Three Year Old
What are some ways you’ve found helpful in bringing Jesus into your everyday life?
**This post contains affiliate links. I receive a small commission at no cost to you when you make a purchase using my link.
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Six Helpful Tips for Surviving A Baby With Reflux

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**This post contains affiliate links. I receive a small commission at no cost to you when you make a purchase using my link.

When my kids were babies, all I can remember is the puke. The second I’d buckle my son into his car seat, the waterfall of vomit would start. Then I had multiple issues feeding him. He was exclusively bottle fed, but would only eat when I fed him. If I had someone watch him, he would go all day without eating. It was really frustrating not knowing what the issue was with him. It wasn’t until after I had my second child that my doctor diagnosed them with reflux.

When my kids were babies, none of my friends had feeding issues with their kids. I was so frustrated and wished that my kids would eat like other kids. When other kids were eating solids, my son would throw up food all over the floor. It was embarrassing and I never wanted to go out to eat because I never knew when my kid might throw up everywhere.

Eventually, it seemed like he grew out of it. However, two years later, I had a second child. I had hoped that she would be an easy eater. Then at about 8 weeks old just like my son she stopped eating. With my son, if I kept it quiet and held him upright I could get him to eat. My daughter, however, refused to eat entirely.

I had a new doctor and in one visit, she could see my daughter had reflux. Finally, I had an answer. My kids didn’t like to eat because they were in pain from reflux.

Here are some helpful tips for dealing with reflux.

  1. Hold baby upright. Almost by accident, I found that holding my children upright instead of on their backs really seemed to help with the reflux. I had done this instinctually with my first son, but my doctor noted that this is most likely why he ate for me and no one else. I was holding him in a way that helped with his stomach pain.
  2. Avoid the car seat after feeding. When I strapped my kids into their car seats, a waterfall of vomit poured out of their mouths. I found it helpful to wait a bit after feeding them whenever possible to put them in the car seat or stroller. It didn’t always solve the problem completely, but it did help.
  3. Rock and Play Sleeper. This was a lifesaver and the only way we got the kids to sleep for long periods of time. The baby sleeps in an upright position, giving them some relief from reflux.
  4. Swaddles. Swaddling my kids really seemed to help. They slept a lot longer and better. They also seemed to be less fussy. When my kids got bigger I weaned them from the swaddling using a Zipadee-Zip. Both kids made the transition easily to the Zipadee-Zip without sleep disruptions or lots of crying.
  5. Extra clothes. If your baby has reflux your child is going to throw up. A lot. Just realize you’re going to always need extra outfits on hand. And be sure to throw several into the diaper bag before leaving. You’ll glad you did.
  6. Patience. I had to give up the notion that others could feed and hold my kids. With a lot of trial and error, I discovered ways to hold and feed my kids that kept the pressure off their stomachs. Patience was essential because I had to be ok with the fact that I was going to have to be the primary caregiver without breaks until my kids were older and outgrew their reflux.

Read: How to Get Your Kids to Eat Their Veggies

Reflux can be really annoying for a parent. However, both of my children did outgrow it and are good sleepers and eaters. I survived infant reflux, and you can too!
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4 Tips to Help You Survive the Difficult Days of Raising Little Kids

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Some days being a mom is really tough. Today my one-year-old is teething, boycotting her nap, will only eat bananas and cries unless I’m holding her. My three-year-old is being exceptionally disobedient and defiant.
One of those behaviors in a day would make you stressed out but combined together and I’m ready to go back to bed or hide and it’s only 9 AM.
If you’re a mom you’ve experienced a day like this. Some days are just really hard. Some days you want to quit and say forget it. Here are a few things I do when I feel like I want to quit.

How I survive the difficult days.

  1. Remember it’s temporary. As much as today stinks, it’s temporary. Your kids will be in a better mood tomorrow. The teething will stop. Hang in there, it will get better.
  2. Find a way to unwind. You’ve got to find an outlet to unwind. If it’s really bad and you feel you’re going to lose it, put your kids in their beds or rooms where they’re safe and take ten minutes to get your sanity back. Take deep breaths, drink a quick cup of coffee, whatever. It’s not worth you losing your cool.
    Read: 4 Reasons A Flexible Schedule for Toddlers Works For Me
  3. Realize how precious your children are. Even when they are annoying the snot out of you, they are precious lives that God has entrusted to your care. Keep reminding yourself of how precious they are and what an awesome opportunity you have to be their mom. God placed you and them together for a purpose. Never take it for granted.
    Read: How I Began Developing a Love For Christ In My Child’s Heart
  4. Ask God for help. I can’t be a good mom without God’s help. As a mom, know you can always go to God for help and ask Him for wisdom. Many times I don’t know what to do or how to handle a situation. However, when I’ve gone to God and asked for his help, he’s often showed me something I could do to help the situation.
There will be many tough days as you raise your children. The important thing to do is to stay encouraged. Tomorrow will be another day. You can make it through! Don’t give up, you’re raising a precious blessing from God!
For I can do everything through Christ, who gives me strength. – Phil 4:13 (NLT)
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6 Chores Toddlers Can Do Around The House

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The other day I discovered a surprising secret. My toddlers want to help with the chores around the house. In fact, I had my three year old crying because I had finished cleaning and he hadn’t gotten the chance to help.
So instead of doing the dishes and turning on cartoons to keep your kids out of your hair, consider letting your toddlers help out around the house.
Realistically they’re not going to do that great of a job, but letting your kids begin to learn at a young age can be really great! With a little encouragement, you’ll find that your toddler begins to become a really big helper around the house!

Here are six chores my toddlers help with around the house.

  1. Sweeping.  –  I give them a small dustpan and broom and they love to sweep. We pretend we’re street sweepers getting the streets clean. My son loves mopping too. He loves seeing the paths the water makes from his mop. I love a clean floor, so it’s a win-win.
  2. Putting silverware in dishwasher. – My one year old helps out a lot with this. She loves putting the spoons, knives and forks into the slots. It takes her awhile, but it keeps her busy when I’m finishing up the dishes.
  3. Lightweight Vacuum – My kids love helping vacuum. I think they enjoy watching all the crumbs under the table get sucked up. They can’t use the big vacuum yet, but we have a lightweight one that works well for little hands to use.
  4. Dusting. – Both of my kids like this. My three year old loves making the “spraying go away”. He loves when I spray a table with dusting spray and he can make all of it go away.
  5. Pick Up Toys – Both of my toddlers pick up their toys. It’s something we began working on when they were little. My three year old can pick up his room on his own and my one-year-old is able to pick her toys up with some assistance.
    Read: How I Keep My Kids From Getting Bored With Their Toys
  6. Laundry. – Both toddlers put shoes, socks and into the lower drawers in their dressers. They also help put small clothes into the washer or dryer. They can’t do this all independently now, but I like teaching these skills early so when they get big enough they’ll be able to do it themselves.

I love teaching my kids to do chores at a young age. It really seems to give them a confidence boost. I love watching their beaming faces when I act really excited about how good they cleaned their room or mopped the floor.

Mommy, I’m a good helper! – 3 Year Old

What are some things you like to have your kids help out with around your house?

Read: 6 Easy Activities To Keep Toddlers Entertained

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