I love to sleep. I love it for myself, I love it for my kids. Sleep is something I’m passionate about because I see the benefits of ensuring my family gets plenty of it. When I have lots of sleep I feel better. That’s why I try to make sleep a priority for my family.

However, sleep doesn’t always happen. Sometimes kids get sick. Sometimes kids decide they don’t want to take naps or go to bed even if they are really tired. So how do we handle those situations when sleep stinks?

When A Toddler Doesn’t Nap

My son at about two and a half years old started not sleeping when it was nap time. He was still in a crib so he wasn’t running all over his room, but I could hear him pounding his feet on his crib rails, talking, singing and sometimes even crying out for me.

I was shocked. He had always been a good napper, what on earth was going on? I felt like he might still be too little to go all day without a nap, so one day I put him to bed with a stack of board books. I told him to read his books until he felt sleepy and then go to bed. That day he read his books for about 15 minutes and after that, he fell right to sleep.

I tried it again the next day. It worked perfectly. And not at almost 4 years old, he goes to bed with some books and falls asleep about 20 minutes later.

When A Toddler Doesn’t Go To Bed At Night

We recently traveled out of town for a wedding. Our whole family stayed in the same hotel room. My daughter is a party animal. If there is action going on, she will do everything in her power to stay awake. She was in her pack and play in the middle of the room and was doing everything in her power to not go to sleep.

By 11 PM that night, we were exhausted of her talking and alternating whining. We finally discovered the secret to her sleep problem: if she couldn’t see us, she’d go to sleep. We moved her bed by the bathroom out of view and then she finally fell to sleep.

Sometimes kids won’t sleep, but it doesn’t mean they don’t need sleep or that they should stop napping. Many times it is just about troubleshooting the problem that is keeping them from sleeping.

Read: How I Stopped My Toddler’s Middle of The Night Wakings

Troubleshooting Sleep Issues

Sleep issues can happen for a variety of reasons. My son stopped sleeping when his sister was born. He was emotionally upset and it was affecting his sleep. My daughter often won’t nap when she’s teething. I gave her Tylenol and she was happy and went right to sleep. Two different kids, both experiencing different sleep issues.

The main thing to remember is that your kids need sleep.

Your kids might fight sleep. They might try to talk you out of putting them to bed or stall, but they do need a good night of sleep and when they’re young they need naps too. Do what you can to figure out why your kids aren’t sleeping well.

Follow your mother’s intuition and listen to your kids. Often they’ll give you clues as to why they aren’t sleeping well.  For example, my son told me one time that he needed more time with mommy. He meant one-on-one time with me. And he could get it if he stalled going to bed or calling for me at night. So I started working that time into our day. It was hard, but I found some spaces where we could have time to cuddle or read and it made all the difference in his sleep.

So spend the time asking your kids questions if they’re verbal or troubleshooting if they’re non-verbal and figure out why they’re not sleeping well. You’ll be glad you did. Kids that are well rested are easier to deal with and more fun to be around.

*** NOTE – this post is for older babies or toddlers, who have already been sleeping through the night after you’ve ruled out things like growth spurts and teething ***

My son started waking up in the middle of the night. He’d been sleeping through the night pretty consistently and all of the sudden, he started waking up almost every night.

When he woke up, he’d always say things like let’s go downstairs and play. He wanted to get up and out of bed to play. I’ve had several friends who said that they had kids the same age doing the same thing. They’d get up with their kids, turn on the TV and start watching Netflix or Hulu with their kids until the kid got sleepy two hours later.

I didn’t think that sounded like the best idea for me since I’m already working at 5 AM every morning. I didn’t need or want to get up every night and have to be up for several hours.

Here’s What I Did

When my son woke up, I’d go into his room. I’d use the most boring, least fun, and the most monotone voice I could find. I didn’t do any of the usual tickles, jokes or silly faces. His lights in his room never got turned on. Finally, I gave him a drink of water and when he asked to play I told him we’d play in the morning.

After a few days, he began to realize how boring mom was when I came into his room in the middle of the night. And believe it or not,  just three or four days later, he stopped doing it. No more screaming for mom in the middle of the night.

Night Wakings Aren’t a Big Deal

I think the mistake many parents make is that when their child wakes at night they treat it like a big deal. They read books, play or doing something stimulating during the wake time.

To me, this seems silly. If I woke up, watched some TV, played games, and read a book, I wouldn’t be tired either. But if I wake up in the night and things are kept very quiet and low key, I’m usually able to get back to sleep very quickly.

So rather than trying to play games and treating the waking as a fun time, try keeping the lights dim and things really boring. Offer a cracker and some water and then put them back to bed. This will give you the greatest chance of your child going back to sleep.

If things are boring, most likely they won’t have any incentive to wake up and call you at night. After a few nights, my son stopped calling for us. I think if we had given in and played games with him, or made it fun, he might have kept waking up for a long period of time.

Sleep Is Important

I want my kids to have good sleep habits. I believe sleep is one of the most important things we can give our kids. When they’re not sleepy, they’ll learn better, and be happier during the day.

That’s why I do everything I can to get my kids as much sleep as possible.  I believe sleep is one of the best parenting tools a parent can have. A well-slept child will be easier to deal with during the day and raising kids is hard enough. Make it easier on yourself by helping your kids learn good habits to help them sleep well.