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One Often Overlooked Parenting Tool

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How many times as a parent do you blow it? Or if you’re like me, how many times an hour do you mess up? How many times do you rant, rage blow up at your kid or say or do the wrong thing? If you’re anything like me, it could be hourly. The thing they don’t tell you about parenting before it’s too late and you’re already into it is how hard it is.
In fact, parenting is probably one of the hardest things you’ll do. You have to try not to strangle your kids for throwing a fit. Then you have to try to not yell at them for talking loudly about the color and size of their poop while eating out with friends.
Read: 3 Proven Phrases To Avoid Mealtime Battles

Here’s the secret

 However, there is hope. The secret is, you don’t have to be perfect, you don’t have to always say the right thing and you don’t have to always do the right thing. For me, that’s good news.
You don’t have to be a perfect parent. Just own up to your mistakes and be real with your kids.
With kids, there’s always room for a reset. As a parent, you can always make adjustments and do things better the next time. That’s good news as a parent. You don’t always have to have to do the right thing…just own up to it when you mess up.
And that’s why I’m not afraid to say I’m sorry, and I do, like hundreds of times a day. I sit down with my toddler, look them in the eyes and tell them, mommy is sorry. I own up to the fact that I didn’t handle the situation the right way. I acknowledge that I got mad and yelled at them and what I did wasn’t nice. Then I say four powerful words: Can you forgive me?

Apologizing to Your Kids Might Sound Crazy, BUT…

The idea of apologizing to your kids might sound a bit crazy, but I feel like it’s powerful. I know I can’t always say or do the right thing and be a good example to my kids all the time. However, if I realize that I’ve said something unkind or handled a situation badly out of anger, I admit it.
I try to reset. My kids are always ready to forgive. I get sweet little hugs after my apology. And every once in awhile I hear the older child apologize to the younger. The other day he ran into her accidentally and I heard him say sorry. What an awesome skill to learn. We don’t have to be perfect to raise kids that are kind and loving. We can mess up, own up to it and teach our kids another powerful lesson, to apologize.
Mistakes can be made but if we own up to them we can receive forgiveness and move on, and try to do it better the next time. So if you haven’t, give an apology a try. You might be surprised how your kids respond.

The Benefits of Apology

Yesterday, my three-year-old apologized to me. I was shocked.

Mommy, I’m sorry I didn’t pick up my toys – Three-year-old

After hearing those words, I stood there dumbfounded. I’m sure my mouth was hanging open in shock. My preschooler has heard me apologize for doing the wrong thing so many times that he offered me an apology when he messed up.

I gave him the biggest hug and told him I loved him. In moments like these, I’m so thankful I’ve owned up to my mistakes in the past and apologized. I see the fruit daily in my kids, how they respond to each other and how we as a family treat others.

So if you haven’t, begin adding the apology to your parenting toolbelt. And let me know how your kids respond!

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The Biggest Mistake I’ve Made In Parenting My Children

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How often do we as parents put a lot of pressure on ourselves to have children that behave or look a certain way?

If our child chooses to throw a fit in the restaurant we feel it reflects on how good of a parent we are. Or if we show up to grandma’s house with spaghetti sauce from lunch smeared all over our kid’s faces we are showing our family that we don’t have it all together and that we’re not good parents.

I’ve fallen into this trap time and time again. I feel good about myself when my children look clean and cute. I take pride when my kids act well at the store or restaurant.  When they act up, throw a fit or say something embarrassing, I want to hide or act like I don’t know them.

Read: Two Simple Strategies to Avoid Toddler Tantrums

Why is it that we as moms tie so much of our self-worth to how our kids behave or look?

I realized the other day how crazy this was. I was allowing myself to feel good when my kids behaved and bad when they didn’t. The crazy thing about this is that none of my children’s behavior is really about me. (This is not to say I accept bad behavior)

I realized that just like me, my children have the ability to make choices. They can choose to act in ways that are good or they can choose to act in ways that are bad. My children don’t make bad choices to embarrass me or to reflect on my parenting. Rather, they make bad choices because they’re human and they’re learning.

I think about how many times a day I make bad choices. How many times a day do I disobey my father God?

God is a perfect parent and yet his kids make bad choices every day all over the world. So is it any wonder that I, an imperfect parent will have kids that do the same?

So as moms let’s take the pressure off ourselves to feel like our self-worth is tied to how our kids look and behave. That’s too much pressure. As moms, our self-worth should be tied only to what God says about us. If we base our self-worth on anything else we will constantly fall short.

Read: How I Began Developing a Love For Christ In My Children’s Hearts
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In Parenting

7 Things Sleep Training Is and 3 Things It Is Not

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Sleep training causes a lot of controversy among moms. Some think doing it is great, and others feel that co-sleeping is the best way to go. I’ve heard great arguments for both why you should and why you shouldn’t sleep train. A good case can be made either way for sleep training. However, after doing my research, I decided to sleep train my kids the day I brought them home from the hospital.

For me, It was the best decision I could make. I’m not a person that functions well on a little bit of sleep. Also, I work from home. Because of this, I couldn’t have kids that needed to be held to sleep since I use their nap times to work. Finally, for me to be a happy mom, I need to be rested. For these reasons, I chose to not delay sleep training.

What Sleep Training Isn’t.

(Before I get tons of mean comments and hate mail)

  • Letting my baby cry for hours on end.
  • Letting my kids go hungry.
  • Ignoring Genuine Needs My Kids Had (clean diaper, food, teething)

What Sleep Training Was Like For Me

  • My kids slept in their own room starting the day they came home from the hospital
  • I tried the best I could to put them to bed awake (sometimes hard as a newborn)
  • I used white noise to set the stage for sleep
  • I relied on swaddles and sleep sacks to set the stage for good sleep (my one-year-old yawns and rubs her eyes when she sees her sleep sack)
  • I changed diapers when they were dirty
  • I fed when the child was hungry
  • My kids slept most naps at home not in arms or in a car seat, swing, or bouncer.
I set the stage for good sleep from birth for my kids. I didn’t neglect them or let them cry for hours on end. I just trained them that sleep happens in their room and in their bed.

Why did I do this?

The first and most important reason is that I think it’s not fair to kids to start things one way and then several months or a year later change the expectations on them. For example, if you train your newborn that sleep happens in moms arms but at 8 months you start putting them down to sleep in a bed you’re going to have a mad baby. I think that you should be consistent with whatever sleep method you choose from day one.

In my experience, I’ve found it helpful to create good sleep habits from birth. That way the kids go down easier when they get older and most days I have plenty of time to work. That’s why I fight for my kid’s sleep.

I do believe that however you sleep train is up to you and what works for your family. If you have one child or love to hold a baby, co-sleeping or holding baby to sleep may work great for you. I can certainly understand wanting to get in lots of baby snuggles. You’ve got to do what works great for you and what you’re comfortable with. And in my experience sleep training early worked great for my kids.

 **This post contains affiliate links. I receive a small commission at no cost to you when you make a purchase using my link.
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Why I Fight For My Children’s Sleep

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Getting a baby to sleep through the night seems to be a challenge most mothers face. We want our kids to sleep well so that we can get some much-needed rest. However, that sleep doesn’t happen naturally in most cases. A child or baby that sleeps well takes some work.
I worked hard to get my kids to be good sleepers. My kids have naps as often as possible and my kids sleep in their own beds. I fought for them to get to bed at good times. Here are a few of the reasons why I’ve fought so hard for my kid’s sleep.

Sleep helps my kids to be happier.

We all are nicer and happier when we’re well rested. A few weeks ago, I had several nights in a row where my husband was snoring really loud. It kept me from sleeping well. After several nights of being woken up multiple times, I was a mess. I was angry at my family and grumpy almost all of the time. My lack of sleep affected my happiness.

I think the same thing is true for our kids. If our kids are lacking sleep, they’re not going to be as happy. They’re going to be grumpy and hard to deal with. I want my kids to be happier, so I fight for their sleep.

Sleep helps them to be focused

When we get enough sleep, we’re better able to focus. If I’m really tired, I can’t remember or learn things. I’m just fighting with all my might to stay awake. I think kids are the same way. If they’re tired and not getting lots of sleep at night, they’re going to have a hard time focusing and learning new skills. When kids are young, they’re growing and learning at the most rapid pace of their lives. Sleep helps them be focused so they can learn new skills better.

Sleep helps me as mom to be happier

When my kids are happy and well rested it makes my job easier. My kids are much more willing to obey and be kind when they’re not exhausted. Also, their early bedtimes and great night sleep helps me get tasks around the house done. I’m a lot happier when my kids are well rested.

Sleep is important for babies and kids. However, as parents, we often don’t want to make the sacrifices to make it happen. We don’t want to go home from a fun gathering early so our kids can get in bed. We don’t want to stop running errands so that our kids can get naps at home. It takes work and sacrifice to have kids that sleep well. In my opinion, that sacrifice is worth it. I love having kids who have are easy to deal with and who can focus and learn well. These things help me as a mom be happier and less stressed.

Here are a few of the products I loved using to get my kids to sleep well when they were babies.

**This post contains affiliate links. I receive a small commission at no cost to you when you make a purchase using my link.

 

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In Parenting

Six Helpful Tips for Surviving A Baby With Reflux

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**This post contains affiliate links. I receive a small commission at no cost to you when you make a purchase using my link.

When my kids were babies, all I can remember is the puke. The second I’d buckle my son into his car seat, the waterfall of vomit would start. Then I had multiple issues feeding him. He was exclusively bottle fed, but would only eat when I fed him. If I had someone watch him, he would go all day without eating. It was really frustrating not knowing what the issue was with him. It wasn’t until after I had my second child that my doctor diagnosed them with reflux.

When my kids were babies, none of my friends had feeding issues with their kids. I was so frustrated and wished that my kids would eat like other kids. When other kids were eating solids, my son would throw up food all over the floor. It was embarrassing and I never wanted to go out to eat because I never knew when my kid might throw up everywhere.

Eventually, it seemed like he grew out of it. However, two years later, I had a second child. I had hoped that she would be an easy eater. Then at about 8 weeks old just like my son she stopped eating. With my son, if I kept it quiet and held him upright I could get him to eat. My daughter, however, refused to eat entirely.

I had a new doctor and in one visit, she could see my daughter had reflux. Finally, I had an answer. My kids didn’t like to eat because they were in pain from reflux.

Here are some helpful tips for dealing with reflux.

  1. Hold baby upright. Almost by accident, I found that holding my children upright instead of on their backs really seemed to help with the reflux. I had done this instinctually with my first son, but my doctor noted that this is most likely why he ate for me and no one else. I was holding him in a way that helped with his stomach pain.
  2. Avoid the car seat after feeding. When I strapped my kids into their car seats, a waterfall of vomit poured out of their mouths. I found it helpful to wait a bit after feeding them whenever possible to put them in the car seat or stroller. It didn’t always solve the problem completely, but it did help.
  3. Rock and Play Sleeper. This was a lifesaver and the only way we got the kids to sleep for long periods of time. The baby sleeps in an upright position, giving them some relief from reflux.
  4. Swaddles. Swaddling my kids really seemed to help. They slept a lot longer and better. They also seemed to be less fussy. When my kids got bigger I weaned them from the swaddling using a Zipadee-Zip. Both kids made the transition easily to the Zipadee-Zip without sleep disruptions or lots of crying.
  5. Extra clothes. If your baby has reflux your child is going to throw up. A lot. Just realize you’re going to always need extra outfits on hand. And be sure to throw several into the diaper bag before leaving. You’ll glad you did.
  6. Patience. I had to give up the notion that others could feed and hold my kids. With a lot of trial and error, I discovered ways to hold and feed my kids that kept the pressure off their stomachs. Patience was essential because I had to be ok with the fact that I was going to have to be the primary caregiver without breaks until my kids were older and outgrew their reflux.

Read: How to Get Your Kids to Eat Their Veggies

Reflux can be really annoying for a parent. However, both of my children did outgrow it and are good sleepers and eaters. I survived infant reflux, and you can too!
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