Amber, Author at Deep In Diapers

In Parenting

Stop Meltdowns – 5 Easy Ways To Get Toddlers To Obey

March 19, 2018 No Comments

Do you struggle to get your toddler to do what you ask? At my house, battles are usually fought over my kids picking up their toys. Somedays it would be easier to just give up, give in and pick the toys up on my own. As a parent, it can be really hard to get toddlers to do what you want them to do. They’re a huge ball of emotions and can go from laughing to tears in a matter of seconds.

So is it realistic to think you can to get your toddler to do what you ask them to do? And can it be done without you or them ending up in tears? If you have toddlers you will have tantrums. However, there are a few ways to make obedience easier for your toddler.

Read: Two Simple Ways To Avoid Toddler Tantrums

Limit Choices

Giving a toddler too many choices can wind up backfiring for you as a parent. If you give them choices all day long, like what book to read, which show to watch, what to eat for breakfast and then out of the blue ask them to do something like pick up their toys, your toddler most likely won’t go for it.

If your toddler is used to calling the shots, he won’t do what you ask when it matters. He’ll think that you’re giving him another choice. That isn’t healthy for you or your toddler.

During the day, find ways to limit your toddler’s choices. This isn’t to say that your toddler can’t ever make a choice, but be sure to leave some choices that are up to the parent. This way your toddler won’t think that he’s the boss and when you give him an instruction he thinks it’s his choice whether or not to obey.

Give Choices

This might seem contrary to the first suggestion, but it actually isn’t. With toddlers, there is a balance in giving choices. Give too many and they don’t listen or obey, give too few and they get frustrated.

I often let my toddlers have choices that aren’t consequential. I’ll say something like, “Buddy, it’s time to take a bath. Would you like to take your clothes off by yourself, or do you want mommy to help?” It doesn’t matter whether I take his clothes off, or if he does it. What matters is that the bath is happening. As the parent, I made the choice to take a bath, my child makes the choice of whether to take his clothes off on his own or to have me do it.

Giving inconsequential choices to my children has really helped with them being more obedient. They feel like they have some say in the matter, which causes them to throw fewer tantrums.

Give Timed Warnings

Whenever I can, I give my children timed warnings. A few days ago, I was at McDonald’s letting my kids play in the play place. My kids were having a blast running around, but I knew we needed to head home soon to let my youngest take her nap.

About five minutes before we needed to leave, I quietly pulled both kids aside and told them in five minutes we were going to need to put our coats and shoes on and head to the car. Then a few minutes later I told them both we were leaving in two minutes. After that, when it was time to go, my three-year-old went and got his shoes without crying or complaining. It was because he’d had time to mentally prepare for the disappointment of leaving.

I’ve noticed when my kids don’t get warnings that we’re going to be leaving soon they’ll often throw a major fit when it’s time to go. Giving my toddlers a heads up that they’ll need to stop playing or pick up toys in a few minutes seems to help them and they throw fewer fits when it’s time to obey.

Be Consistent

One of the hardest things in parenting is being consistent. I don’t want to punish my kids when they make bad choices. I wish they’d just realize how much I loved them and choose to obey out of the goodness of their hearts. However, as you know that’s just not the case. Kids don’t just automatically obey.

That’s why you’ve got to be consistent with rules and consequences. When you’re consistent, your kids can be confident knowing you mean what you say. They know the rules won’t change and that they know what to expect.

Consistency is important. Give your kids confidence by doing what you say. Kids love knowing what to expect.

Don’t Ask – Tell

It’s easy to get in the habit of asking kids things. “Do you want to come inside?”, “What do you think, should we start picking up your toys”, or “Let’s go to bed, ok?”

These phrases aren’t effective for toddlers. Mainly because what kid is going to want to come inside, or thinks to pick up their toys is a good idea? They won’t and you wouldn’t either. You wouldn’t clean your house or do the dishes if given the choice, and your toddler is no different.

Instead, rephrase questions telling the child what you want them to do. “Hey buddy, in 5 minutes we’re going to pick up toys.” This isn’t asking the child if they want to, what they think, or giving them the ability to choose whether or not to obey it. Tell your toddler what you’d like them to do. I often give my kids a timed warning before an instruction I know they won’t like and when the time is up, I give them a choice to help them process the disappointment of having to pick up toys.

For example, I’d say, “Buddy, we’re going to pick up toys in 5 minutes.” After the five minutes have passed. “Buddy, it’s time to pick up, would you like to pick up the blocks or the trucks first?”

Read: How I Keep My Kids From Getting Bored of Their Toys

Dealing with an emotional toddler is not easy and getting them to obey can be even harder. Hang in there mom! Having a toddler that obeys well is worth the effort. If you stay consistent with consequences and boundaries, eventually, they’ll get it.

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In Activities/Games

6 Easy Activities To Keep Young Toddlers Entertained

March 12, 2018 No Comments

My toddler gets bored so easily. I’m trusting this is because she is very intelligent and likes to learn and experience new things, or at least that’s what I keep telling myself. She keeps me on my toes trying to think of new ways to keep her entertained. In order to keep my sanity and hers, I often end up running to the kitchen in search of a new activity to satisfy her curiosity.

If you’ve got an easily bored toddler like mine, you’ll love some of these activities I’ve found helpful to keep my toddler happy.

Toddler Activity One – Sour Cream Stacker (Ignore the sticky on the craft sticks…my toddler is messy!)

One day out of desperation, I ran into the kitchen. I searched frantically for anything I could find that would keep my toddler from being bored. Out of desperation, I rummaged through the Tupperware drawer, hoping to find an answer there. I found my answer in an old sour cream container. Taking a large knife, I made a hole in the top.

Once the hole was made, I gave my daughter the container and a bunch of craft sticks. My toddler began sticking the sticks in the hole and pulling them out. Mom win. My daughter has another activity to do that she loves.

Toddler Activity Two – Kitchen Utensils

My toddler loves using any kitchen utensil as a toy. She paints the walls with a basting brush. She loves the sound the whisk makes as she shakes it. Kitchen utensils make great toys for a toddler.

I pull out all kinds of funny utensils to see what my toddler does with them. She’ll hit the floor with a wooden spoon or go nuts on measuring cups. No matter how loud she gets, it’s always worth it to have a few minutes where she’s busy and out of trouble.

Activity Three – Hotel Keys and Gift Cards

For some reason, my toddler loves to walk around the house with something in her hand. Maybe it’s because she’s a girl and loves multi-tasking? Whatever the reason, she just loves holding things.

A few weeks ago, I set her up with a bunch of old gift cards and hotel keys to play with. She loved it.

Activity Four – Rocks in Containers

This activity is so basic, but it’s always a hit in our house. I just raid the Tupperware drawer for some old leftover containers. Once I find some that still have lids, I run outside and find a few small rocks, acorns, or sticks. Then I put them in the containers. Once my toddler has a container, it just takes a couple minutes before she realizes that she can shake it and it’s noisy. Her face lights up and she’s shaking away keeping busy.

Activity Five – Kitchen Drawer

I have one drawer in the kitchen that my kids are allowed access. I have it stuffed full of plastic lids, containers, cups, pretty much anything I don’t use that much but is plastic or not breakable.

My kids love it. They love opening the drawers and pulling EVERYTHING out and scattering it all over the floor. Then they play restaurant, feed their stuffed animals or any other crazy game they think up. Currently, my toddler loves bringing me all the plastic cups she can find in the drawer to have me take a drink from. Having their own drawer keeps my kids out of the areas in the kitchen that have breakable items and lets them hang out with mom in the kitchen while I cook.

Activity Six – Newspaper and Mail Wads

I let my one-year-old and three-year-old tear up the old newspaper and take turns throwing it in our recycling bin. They loved every step of this activity. From tearing up mail and newspaper to wadding it into balls and throwing it in the recycling bin. It was a big hit. Both of my kids were entertained and not fighting for about half an hour. I consider that a big win in my book.

These things have been sanity savers for my kids. What are some things you’ve done to keep your kids entertained?

Read: 5 Learning Activites For Preschool Boys

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In Parenting

One Often Overlooked Parenting Tool

March 5, 2018 No Comments

How many times as a parent do you blow it? Or if you’re like me, how many times an hour do you mess up? How many times do you rant, rage blow up at your kid or say or do the wrong thing? If you’re anything like me, it could be hourly. The thing they don’t tell you about parenting before it’s too late and you’re already into it is how hard it is.

In fact, parenting is probably one of the hardest things you’ll do. You have to try not to strangle your kids for throwing a fit. Then you have to try to not yell at them for talking loudly about the color and size of their poop while eating out with friends.

Read: 3 Proven Phrases To Avoid Mealtime Battles

Here’s the secret

However, there is hope. The secret is, you don’t have to be perfect, you don’t have to always say the right thing and you don’t have to always do the right thing. For me, that’s good news.

You don’t have to be a perfect parent. Just own up to your mistakes and be real with your kids.

With kids, there’s always room for a reset. As a parent, you can always make adjustments and do things better the next time. That’s good news as a parent. You don’t always have to have to do the right thing…just own up to it when you mess up.

And that’s why I’m not afraid to say I’m sorry, and I do, like hundreds of times a day. I sit down with my toddler, look them in the eyes and tell them, mommy is sorry. I own up to the fact that I didn’t handle the situation the right way. I acknowledge that I got mad and yelled at them and what I did wasn’t nice. Then I say four powerful words: Can you forgive me?

Apologizing to Your Kids Might Sound Crazy, BUT…

The idea of apologizing to your kids might sound a bit crazy, but I feel like it’s powerful. I know I can’t always say or do the right thing and be a good example to my kids all the time. However, if I realize that I’ve said something unkind or handled a situation badly out of anger, I admit it.

I try to reset. My kids are always ready to forgive. I get sweet little hugs after my apology. And every once in awhile I hear the older child apologize to the younger. The other day he ran into her accidentally and I heard him say sorry. What an awesome skill to learn. We don’t have to be perfect to raise kids that are kind and loving. We can mess up, own up to it and teach our kids another powerful lesson, to apologize.

Mistakes can be made but if we own up to them we can receive forgiveness and move on, and try to do it better the next time. So if you haven’t, give an apology a try. You might be surprised how your kids respond.

The Benefits of Apology

Yesterday, my three-year-old apologized to me. I was shocked.

Mommy, I’m sorry I didn’t pick up my toys – Three-year-old

After hearing those words, I stood there dumbfounded. I’m sure my mouth was hanging open in shock. My preschooler has heard me apologize for doing the wrong thing so many times that he offered me an apology when he messed up.

I gave him the biggest hug and told him I loved him. In moments like these, I’m so thankful I’ve owned up to my mistakes in the past and apologized. I see the fruit daily in my kids, how they respond to each other and how we as a family treat others.

So if you haven’t, begin adding the apology to your parenting toolbelt. And let me know how your kids respond!

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In Parenting

The Biggest Mistake I’ve Made In Parenting My Children

March 1, 2018 No Comments

How often do we as parents put a lot of pressure on ourselves to have children that behave or look a certain way?

If our child chooses to throw a fit in the restaurant we feel it reflects on how good of a parent we are. Or if we show up to grandma’s house with spaghetti sauce from lunch smeared all over our kid’s faces we are showing our family that we don’t have it all together and that we’re not good parents.

I’ve fallen into this trap time and time again. I feel good about myself when my children look clean and cute. I take pride when my kids act well at the store or restaurant. When they act up, throw a fit or say something embarrassing, I want to hide or act like I don’t know them.

Read: Two Simple Strategies to Avoid Toddler Tantrums

Why is it that we as moms tie so much of our self-worth to how our kids behave or look?

I realized the other day how crazy this was. I was allowing myself to feel good when my kids behaved and bad when they didn’t. The crazy thing about this is that none of my children’s behavior is really about me. (This is not to say I accept bad behavior)

I realized that just like me, my children have the ability to make choices. They can choose to act in ways that are good or they can choose to act in ways that are bad. My children don’t make bad choices to embarrass me or to reflect on my parenting. Rather, they make bad choices because they’re human and they’re learning.

I think about how many times a day I make bad choices. How many times a day do I disobey my father God?

God is a perfect parent and yet his kids make bad choices every day all over the world. So is it any wonder that I, an imperfect parent will have kids that do the same?

So as moms let’s take the pressure off ourselves to feel like our self-worth is tied to how our kids look and behave. That’s too much pressure. As moms, our self-worth should be tied only to what God says about us. If we base our self-worth on anything else we will constantly fall short.

Read: How I Began Developing a Love For Christ In My Children’s Hearts

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In Parenting

4 Things I Learned While Potty Training My Toddler

February 26, 2018 No Comments

I thought potty training would be easy. I saw all the books and training videos claiming potty training could be accomplished on a weekend. Maybe the people who write those books have a superstar toddler, but for me, potty training that fast didn’t play out.

The main reason potty training didn’t happen over a weekend is that I work from home. Every minute of my day is accounted for and scheduled so that my toddler is busy when I need to work. The idea that I had to somehow carve out two uninterrupted days to plan for potty training was impossible. So with that in mind, I ended up taking a much more relaxed approach to potty training. Here are a few things I learned about potty training along the way.

Potty Training Isn’t Easy

I don’t know why I thought it would be easy. I figured my kid probably didn’t like sitting in a dirty diaper so I thought they would be as excited as I was for them to potty train…WRONG. Come to find out my toddler could have cared less about potty training. Dirty pants don’t care was his motto! Potty training was a lot harder than I thought.

I Needed Lots of Extra Clothes.

I didn’t adhere to the idea of letting my kid be naked during the potty training time. First of all my toddler hates being naked and cold. Secondly, it just seems weird to me to let my kid play all day naked and let him pee on himself.

So I opted for doing lots and lots and lots of laundry during the many accidents that equaled potty training. I needed extra sheets, mattress pads, socks, underwear you name it. The extras helped on those days we’d go through 4-5 outfits. Ugh!

Potty Training Requires Patience

It’s so hard to be patient when teaching a toddler a skill that is easy for us. It’s hard to remember that we too once had to learn to go potty. I remember one time after losing my patience with my toddler for what felt like the 85th accident that day I asked him do you know why we’re learning to go potty in the toilet?

It makes mommy sad when I go potty in my pants – Three-year-old

He said because it makes mommy sad when I go potty in my pants. I realized my toddler didn’t really understand why I wanted him to potty train so badly. At that moment, I realized I had to be patient and not lose my cool while I was letting him learn.

Don’t Get Discouraged – They will get it.

When you’re potty training it feels like your child will never get it. It seemed all my friends and family that had kids the same age we already potty trained. My son wasn’t. So I felt bad that it was taking what felt like 90 years longer than everyone else I knew. I was certain I would be sending my child to kindergarten in diapers.

We as moms often compare our kids and their development with others. We see the kid that potty trained at 12 months and feel like a failure because our three-year-old is still wearing diapers. This is easy to do but never healthy. Instead of getting frustrated and comparing the achievements of other kids, we should take comfort in the fact that our child will get it.

If you’re deep in diapers, accidents, laundry and just the crazy that makes up mom life, take heart. Your toddler will learn to go potty. Your toddler will stop messing his pants 19 times a day. You don’t need to bribe him, yell at him or use any other crazy techniques to get them trained. Just stay patient, positive, and focused and after a couple of months, he will get it.

A few months after I started my toddler very seldom has an accident. He goes in the potty without me checking on him or bothering him about it. Hang in there, Mom. You will make it through and you too won’t have to send your child to school in diapers!

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In Activities/Games

How I Keep My Kids From Getting Bored With Their Toys

February 19, 2018 No Comments

Are your kids bored with their toys? Does it make you mad that all the new Christmas toys they received are already forgotten? Do you just wish your kids would just play toys instead of bothering you? If so, let me share my secrets with you.

Read: 6 Easy Activities to Keep Young Toddlers Entertained

A year ago, I discovered something powerful. If my children hadn’t seen a toy for a few weeks, they felt like it was a new toy. They were excited about it, they wanted to play with it, and they were engaged. It hit me that if just hiding a toy for a few weeks kept them from getting bored, this was something I needed to do regularly.

That’s when I began a toy rotation with my children’s toys. Every Monday, my children get “new” toys. While the toys aren’t actually new, they are ones they haven’t seen for several weeks. And boy do they get excited about them. My three-year-old son has told me many times that Monday is his favorite day. Why? Because he gets new toys to play with.

Here is how the toy rotation works

The way I approach the toy rotation is simple. My son has a toy box in his room. That toy box gets filled each Monday with a tub of toys from his closet. I divided all his toys into three large tubs. One tub contains firetrucks and police rescue vehicles, the next has farm toys, and the third contains construction vehicles.

My son puts the old toys from last week into a tub and puts the new toys into his toy box. Then all week long, he plays with the new toys. It really works and he loves it.

I loooove Mondays. I get new toys. – Three-year-old

Why I love the toy rotation

The toy rotation really helps curb boredom in our house. The play stays fun and exciting because the toys are always fresh and new each week.

Secondly, I love the fact that it makes picking up toys easier. If my son had every toy he owns out to play with during his playtime, he would be overwhelmed when it came time to pick up the toys. He has tons of toys. The toy rotation minimizes the number of toys in his room. When it comes time to pick up, having a smaller amount to pick up makes the job seem more manageable.

Rotating my children’s toys has been a lifesaver. When my kids seem bored, I pull a new tub out in our playroom and boom, kids are happy! What are some ways you’ve found helpful to keep your kids from getting bored with their toys?

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In Activities/Games

5 Learning Games for Preschool Boys

February 12, 2018 No Comments

I love activities where my toddler can learn through play. However, raising a preschool age boy, I’ve come to realize that all our games have to involve some sort of vehicle or my preschooler loses interest fast. So here are a few of our favorites.

Counting Practice with Mailboxes

This has to be one of my preschool boy’s favorite games. I simply draw mailboxes on our sidewalk or driveway using sidewalk chalk. Then, I write numbers on the mailbox, I usually try for 1-10. Next, I pick up a pile of sticks or rocks and tell my preschooler to deliver the sticks to the mailbox.

For example, I hand him a stick and say could you please take this to mailbox 6? Or here’s a package for 2, and he’s going to be so sad if you don’t help him deliver it. This keeps him busy for a long time. He absolutely loves pretending that he is the mailman. He drives his trike (Mail truck) to each mailbox and puts the stick or rock in. This game has been a huge hit in our house.

Cars Number Recognition Printable

This is an awesome printable from totschooling.net. My preschooler absolutely adores this game. He loves driving the cars on the printable road and finding the corresponding gas pump that matches the car’s number. I threw the roads in sheet protectors and laminated the cars and he loves playing with them. He loves making the noises the gas pump does as he fills each car up with gas. The printable goes up to number 20, so it’s a great way to work on matching skills and number recognition all while your preschooler is playing and having fun!

Letter Practice With Letter Road Game

This game has been awesome for us. It’s not only good for learning, but it gets some of that pent up energy out! When the weather is nice, I take my kids outside and I draw a road of a bunch of “N”‘s or whatever letter I want my preschooler to practice. I call the line of letters a road. Then I get crazy with the letter road.

We pretend that we’re big semis and we walk up and down the letter road honking. Next, we try to jump down the letter road. Then we go really fast down the letter road. We try to keep it fun and keep doing things up and down the letter road. It’s a great game to get some energy out and also teach your preschooler or toddler letter recognition.

Little Blue Truck Activities

If you haven’t read the little blue truck books with your preschooler you need to. The books are so cute and of course have trucks in them, which will keep your little boy excited. There are tons of activities online to do with little Blue Truck, but I really like the matching toads to trucks letter recognition activity found at totschooling.net. My preschooler enjoys matching the toad to the right truck.
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Counting Practice With Tractors

My preschooler loves playing with tractors, so this game is perfect for him. I found a deck of flash cards at the dollar store that we use with this. I place a flash card out on the table and ask him what number is on the card. He will tell me and then I have him get that many pieces of corn and put it into his tractor’s wagon.

We go through the deck of flashcards and let him practice over and over again counting corn. I’ve really seen an improvement in his counting since playing this game.

It’s fun finding a game that incorporates play and learning!

Learning Games Are Great

I love games that keep my preschooler interested and keep him learning. What are some games that you’ve found helpful for teaching your boys colors, letters, shapes and numbers?

Need Ideas to Keep a Young Toddler Entertained? Read: 6 Easy Activities For Young Toddlers

**This post contains affiliate links. I receive a small commission at no cost to you when you make a purchase using my link.

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In Parenting

7 Things Sleep Training Is and 3 Things It Is Not

February 5, 2018 No Comments

Sleep training causes a lot of controversy among moms. Some think doing it is great, and others feel that co-sleeping is the best way to go. I’ve heard great arguments for both why you should and why you shouldn’t sleep train. A good case can be made either way for sleep training. However, after doing my research, I decided to sleep train my kids the day I brought them home from the hospital.

For me, It was the best decision I could make. I’m not a person that functions well on a little bit of sleep. Also, I work from home. Because of this, I couldn’t have kids that needed to be held to sleep since I use their nap times to work. Finally, for me to be a happy mom, I need to be rested. For these reasons, I chose to not delay sleep training.

What Sleep Training Isn’t.

(Before I get tons of mean comments and hate mail)

Letting my baby cry for hours on end.
Letting my kids go hungry.
Ignoring Genuine Needs My Kids Had (clean diaper, food, teething)

What Sleep Training Was Like For Me

My kids slept in their own room starting the day they came home from the hospital
I tried the best I could to put them to bed awake (sometimes hard as a newborn)
I used white noise to set the stage for sleep
I relied on swaddles and sleep sacks to set the stage for good sleep (my one-year-old yawns and rubs her eyes when she sees her sleep sack)
I changed diapers when they were dirty
I fed when the child was hungry
My kids slept most naps at home not in arms or in a car seat, swing, or bouncer.

I set the stage for good sleep from birth for my kids. I didn’t neglect them or let them cry for hours on end. I just trained them that sleep happens in their room and in their bed.

Why did I do this?

The first and most important reason is that I think it’s not fair to kids to start things one way and then several months or a year later change the expectations on them. For example, if you train your newborn that sleep happens in moms arms but at 8 months you start putting them down to sleep in a bed you’re going to have a mad baby. I think that you should be consistent with whatever sleep method you choose from day one.

In my experience, I’ve found it helpful to create good sleep habits from birth. That way the kids go down easier when they get older and most days I have plenty of time to work. That’s why I fight for my kid’s sleep.

I do believe that however you sleep train is up to you and what works for your family. If you have one child or love to hold a baby, co-sleeping or holding baby to sleep may work great for you. I can certainly understand wanting to get in lots of baby snuggles. You’ve got to do what works great for you and what you’re comfortable with. And in my experience sleep training early worked great for my kids.

**This post contains affiliate links. I receive a small commission at no cost to you when you make a purchase using my link.

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In Parenting

Why I Fight For My Children’s Sleep

January 28, 2018 No Comments

Getting a baby to sleep through the night seems to be a challenge most mothers face. We want our kids to sleep well so that we can get some much-needed rest. However, that sleep doesn’t happen naturally in most cases. A child or baby that sleeps well takes some work.

I worked hard to get my kids to be good sleepers. My kids have naps as often as possible and my kids sleep in their own beds. I fought for them to get to bed at good times. Here are a few of the reasons why I’ve fought so hard for my kid’s sleep.

Sleep helps my kids to be happier.

We all are nicer and happier when we’re well rested. A few weeks ago, I had several nights in a row where my husband was snoring really loud. It kept me from sleeping well. After several nights of being woken up multiple times, I was a mess. I was angry at my family and grumpy almost all of the time. My lack of sleep affected my happiness.

I think the same thing is true for our kids. If our kids are lacking sleep, they’re not going to be as happy. They’re going to be grumpy and hard to deal with. I want my kids to be happier, so I fight for their sleep.

Sleep helps them to be focused

When we get enough sleep, we’re better able to focus. If I’m really tired, I can’t remember or learn things. I’m just fighting with all my might to stay awake. I think kids are the same way. If they’re tired and not getting lots of sleep at night, they’re going to have a hard time focusing and learning new skills. When kids are young, they’re growing and learning at the most rapid pace of their lives. Sleep helps them be focused so they can learn new skills better.

Sleep helps me as mom to be happier

When my kids are happy and well rested it makes my job easier. My kids are much more willing to obey and be kind when they’re not exhausted. Also, their early bedtimes and great night sleep helps me get tasks around the house done. I’m a lot happier when my kids are well rested.

Sleep is important for babies and kids. However, as parents, we often don’t want to make the sacrifices to make it happen. We don’t want to go home from a fun gathering early so our kids can get in bed. We don’t want to stop running errands so that our kids can get naps at home. It takes work and sacrifice to have kids that sleep well. In my opinion, that sacrifice is worth it. I love having kids who have are easy to deal with and who can focus and learn well. These things help me as a mom be happier and less stressed.

Here are a few of the products I loved using to get my kids to sleep well when they were babies.

**This post contains affiliate links. I receive a small commission at no cost to you when you make a purchase using my link.

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3 Proven Phrases to Prevent Mealtime Battles

January 21, 2018 No Comments

Is mealtime often filled with fits, temper tantrums, and battles as you try to get your kids to come to the table?

If so, you’re not alone. In my house, getting my kids to the table to eat can be a chore. Our mealtime battle often plays out like this: My toddler tells me how hungry he is. A few minutes later when dinner is ready, he proceeds to throw a fit when I ask him to come to the table. By this time, he’s gotten engrossed in a toy so when I call him to eat he says, “I’m not hungry”. As the parent, I know my kids need to eat. So how do you get your kids to the table without losing your cool?

Through a lot of trial and error, I’ve discovered three phrases that have helped curb mealtime battles.

“You need to come sit at the table, but you don’t have to eat.”

This phrase has been a game changer at my house. When it’s dinner time my kids are asked to come to the table. I tell them they do not have to eat. What they are asked to do is come and sit down. This has been powerful because my children realize they can’t play anymore. When the option to play is removed, they often end up eating something since they’re already at the table.

“Eat or go hungry”

I can’t tell you how many times my child has said during mealtimes, “I don’t like it, I don’t want it, I want something else.” I gently tell my child that what they’re saying is not kind. Mommy or daddy worked hard so they could have nice food to eat. If you don’t like it, you don’t have to eat it. However, they will not get another meal.

Our rule is that they can sit at the table with us and either eat or not eat. If they choose to not eat, they will not get another food option. When the rules are explained, my child will often eat some of the food that was prepared. When the choice is to go hungry or eat what’s on the table, my kids usually choose to eat what’s there.

“To sit at the table, you need to choose to be happy”

In our house, in order to sit at the table, you need to choose to be happy. I don’t enjoy a meal with a screaming child. If my child chooses to scream or throw a fit at the table, I get up and move them or their chair into another room. I tell the child they can come back when they’re happy. It’s amazing how simply removing the child will often curb the bad behavior. My kids want to be where the action is, so when I remove them, the incentive is high for them to want to come back to the table and be happy.

These phrases have helped me curb a lot of mealtime battles. What are some strategies you’ve found helpful during mealtime?

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