How often do we as parents put a lot of pressure on ourselves to have children that behave or look a certain way?
If our child chooses to throw a fit in the restaurant we feel it reflects on how good of a parent we are. Or if we show up to grandma’s house with spaghetti sauce from lunch smeared all over our kid’s faces we are showing our family that we don’t have it all together and that we’re not good parents.
I’ve fallen into this trap time and time again. I feel good about myself when my children look clean and cute. I take pride when my kids act well at the store or restaurant. When they act up, throw a fit or say something embarrassing, I want to hide or act like I don’t know them.
Read: Two Simple Strategies to Avoid Toddler Tantrums
Why is it that we as moms tie so much of our self-worth to how our kids behave or look?
I realized the other day how crazy this was. I was allowing myself to feel good when my kids behaved and bad when they didn’t. The crazy thing about this is that none of my children’s behavior is really about me. (This is not to say I accept bad behavior)
I realized that just like me, my children have the ability to make choices. They can choose to act in ways that are good or they can choose to act in ways that are bad. My children don’t make bad choices to embarrass me or to reflect on my parenting. Rather, they make bad choices because they’re human and they’re learning.
I think about how many times a day I make bad choices. How many times a day do I disobey my father God?
God is a perfect parent and yet his kids make bad choices every day all over the world. So is it any wonder that I, an imperfect parent will have kids that do the same?
So as moms let’s take the pressure off ourselves to feel like our self-worth is tied to how our kids look and behave. That’s too much pressure. As moms, our self-worth should be tied only to what God says about us. If we base our self-worth on anything else we will constantly fall short.
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